The 8:30am Text That Changed How I Ask For Things
I used to think being direct meant being efficient.
Just tell people what you need. Get to the point. Don't waste time.
That's when I realized: how you ask matters just as much as what you're asking for.
The Framework: Context, Care, Clarity
Turn a Demand into an Invitation.
1. Context — Explain the "why" first
Don't lead with the ask. Lead with the reason.
People need to understand what's happening and why it matters. When you skip this, the request feels random or like you're just checking a box.
Before: "Can you join a call at 8:30 tomorrow?"
After:
"Can you join a call at 8:30 tomorrow, or anywhere before nine?
Here's why I'm asking: The 9 am meeting tomorrow that was supposed to be media-focused, but now it's turning into a full team sync. I don't want to rush your project or squeeze it into something with a hard stop.
Let me know, I can add you to the invite.”
See the difference?
Now they have the context (why it matters) vs just filling another calendar slot.
2. Care — Show you've thought about them
This is where most leaders lose people.
They ask for the favor, but forget to acknowledge what they're asking of the person. Your time isn't the only time that matters.
Message: "Let me know if you can make it work."
It's one sentence. But it signals respect.
People will move mountains for leaders who actually consider what they're asking.
3. Clarity — Make the ask simple and specific
After you've built the context and shown care, make it easy to say yes.
No vague requests. No "let's find time sometime."
Give them a clear option and let them adjust if needed.
Message: "Would 8:30 or anywhere before nine work for you tomorrow?"
Now they know exactly what you need. They can check their calendar and respond without guessing.
What I’ve experienced using this framework.
People responded faster. They showed up more engaged. And the conversations themselves got better.
Leadership isn't about getting people to do what you need.
It's about making it easy, and meaningful, for them to want to help.
Context gives them the full picture. Care shows you respect their time. Clarity makes it simple to act.
When you combine all three, you're not just asking for a favor.
You're inviting someone into something that matters.
And that makes all the difference.
-Frank ‘the Tank’ Lofaro
